Wednesday, March 12, 2008


During recent excavations in Berlin, this charred note was found among the rubble. It was addressed to no one in particular but was signed A.H.

We all make mistakes, even your beloved Fuhrer. To share with you my dream of a wonderful future for the Fatherland and then let it turn into a nightmare was unforgivable and I am truly sorry. So many of our devoted Jugend have been sacrificed for the dream and I now ask myself: was it justified? Was a united Europe a worthy goal? Well, Mein Kinder, my answer is yes!
Without our firm hand and strong leadership it will take decades for the European family to come together; the neurotic French, the dull Belgians, the eccentric English, the plodding Dutch, how they will drag their feet! How they will all demand the right to favouritism, like spoiled little children! We could have created the greatest economic bloc the world had ever known; the Reich mark would have been the common currency throughout a common market using a common language, the language of Schiller, the language of Nietzsche. And the trains would have run on time!
Imagine a Chancellor of Europe who is an animal lover, a vegetarian and an artist. We are the first nation to promote an anti-smoking campaign to preserve the health of our youth. The cigar-puffing Churchill also claims to be an artist. I have seen some of his insipid water-colours, I could have given him tips on tonal values, who knows, we might have become friends. If it were not for Churchill’s tricks the Americans would never have become involved; they have no stomach for war and left alone they will become fat and impotent. It was a mistake to bomb the British, they are so easily provoked – look what they did to my Luftwaffe!
The Russians should also have been left to their own fate: Stalin was killing his own people faster than our most advanced Panzer divisions. There have been other mistakes for which I am truly sorry, like the Final Solution. The logistics were first class but the PR work has been very sloppy.
I must close now as I hear the Russians closing in (how long do they think Communism will last?) but just time to pass on the advice of Herr Doktor Freud: “Keep taking the tablets.”